10 Commandments For A Muslim Wife

These are the the ten qualities a mother asks her daughter to inculcate in herself so as to lead a successful married life. This is really good advice and I wanted to share it with you all. It pretty much sums up 'How to be the best wife ever'. 

Abd al-Malik (RA) said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother, Umamah came into her room, to advise her and said:

‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.

The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

‘The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

‘The seventh and eight of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

‘Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make him unhappy.

‘Show him as much honour and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.

‘Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah choose what is best for you and protect you.”

This is the most practical thing I've read. Her few sentences sum up everything a wife is supposed to do and also what she is not supposed to. Amazing, amazing advice! Words to live by. Don't you agree?

Leave me a comment and let me know. :)


  1. great post saadiya keep up the good work

  2. Assalam alaikum

    I just found your blog and really enjoy how girl it is and informative! I especially like these posts with advice for Muslims wives. I recently started my own blog. It's about my life, converting to Islam, getting married and moving to another country. Please check it out and follow me if you like it!
    Jazakallah Khair


    1. Walaikum As Salam! You've a beautiful blog, just read a post and loved it. Thank you for sharing. <3

  3. Hello,

    Reading this article as a Muslim woman, I don't not agree with every thing for many reasons. I'd like to start of by saying that I agree with: making his food (if you are capable of such, because here in America both the husband and wife tend to work long hours and simply don't have the time &/or energy to cook everyday, especially if one has kids because they come first before anybody). I also agree with smelling and looking good (unless one is debilitatingly sick and is unable to care of herself) you must not forget that life gets in the way and it is not always so peachy. I also agree with caring for his children and wealth, not just because It shows you are a good wife but because it is also YOUR weath and children. As husband and wife, EVERYTHING IS EQUAL, THAT IS ISLAM! Also, must importantly, I wholeheartedly agree with keeping your husband's secrets.

    Now, on to what I will never agree with: "never disobey any of his orders...If disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you...agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation."

    And this is why:
    1. You as a woman and his wife DESERVE to be able to voice your pleasures and displeasures! To say that a wife must agree with her husband at all times, is disrespectful and demeaning! You deserve a voice as much as he does!
    2. No where in the Quran or in Islam does it say that a man is superior to his wife; God is superior and He made us all equal! To say that a wife must OBEY her husband is wrong, he is a being as much as she is, nobody should be obeyed besides God!
    3. If your husband does not enjoy your company because you won't become his slave (i.e not obeying his every command), he is not a husband, he is your owner and you have let yourself become his slave.
    4. Like I have already said, no human should be obeyed! It says in the Quran that man was born weak. To imply that a husband should be obeyed at all times, goes against this! He is a man, he will make mistakes, he will need another opinion concerning various matters throughout life! Just because he is a man does not make him all-knowing! You are a wife, not some bedpost who is just supposed to look pretty, smile, cook, and clean. As a wide it is your duty to have a voice when he is wrong, when he must hear another opinion to guide him throughout life and provide HONEST insight into the issues that will arise both in the marriage and out!

    And the last thing I have a problem with: "put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike."

    1. Seriously?!?!? What is this, an ownership?!? You are a WIFE, A HUMAN BEING!!! You are not there to make sure everything is perfect for him even though it displeases you. That doesn't even make LOGICAL sense!!!

    I hope somebody takes this into account because this whole man is superior to his woman is BULLSHIT! We are meant to share life together, that is the whole point of marriage people!

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.


Please, be nice. ♥

Back to Top