My Muslim Husband Is Cheating On Me, What Should I do?

This is the question asked by innumerable Muslim women everyday. They don't know what to do because they love their husband, or because they have children, or just because they are afraid to face the consequences of being a divorcee etc.

I personally know married women facing this devastating reality. They are broken, they are confused, they are worried about their children. They are worried about their future. They just don't know what to do.


So, I've decided to answer that big question. This post will be my point of view, many won't agree with it and that's fine. This is just what I think about 'what should be done'. If you are looking for a scholars opinion, this is the wrong post. I do have the basic understanding of my religion, and I will answer the above question with my logic and Islamic understanding.

Let me just put it out, 'cheating on your husband/wife is an act I consider unforgivable.' No matter what the reasons maybe. There is never, ever a reason BIG enough to justify cheating on your partner. Nothing can justify it.


Nothing.

(I might repeat quite a few words and you might get annoyed. I just feel very strongly about this.)

I can never understand why women choose to live a miserable loveless life with a cheating husband. Maybe, for the sake of their children? I don't know.

A cheating husband who has no guilt or remorse over his actions and continues to do it again and again, this man deserves to be slapped in the face and ditched to live a lonely sad life. Why do women continue to live with such kind of disgusting men?

Everyone deserves to live a happy life with a partner who truly loves them. I say, give yourself another chance at love. I know this is easy to say, but I really believe this.

Why would you want to live a miserable life? Respect yourself enough to walk away.

Such men deserve to be left alone! They will realize what they truly have lost after you leave. They will realize one day what they had was much better.

Such kind of men are doomed, they should fear the wrath of Allah.

Some of you might say, 'be patient'. Being patient for a while is valid, but when the person shows no remorse and continues with his illicit relationship, action has to be taken.

From the Islamic point of view, adultery is one of the biggest sins. Committing adultery while being married??? Unforgivable.

Some men justify it saying all men do it. It might be common but that doesn't make it acceptable.

Women should stand up for themselves, stand against this emotionally abusive marriage. Get out of it, I would say. I'm not encouraging divorce, but necessity in these situations demands it.

In some marriages, the husband is not only cheating on the wife, but also emotionally and physically abusing her. This is just too much. A girl marries a man, leaving everything behind. No questions asked, she dedicates her life to him and in return this is what she has to bear?

Un-freaking-believable.

A cheating man deserves to be left alone to live a very lonely life, after his little haram relationship is over, and that woman finds another man and moves on. Not only is his life ruined but his akhirah as well. He is screwed, for good.

I would suggest women to get out of a cheating relationship. A man who crosses such boundaries will most probably never change. If a woman suffers any kind off severe emotional or physical harm at the hands of her husband, she should leave him. Allah has not asked you to suffer injustice. That is the raw truth. By staying you are inflicting pain on yourself. Children suffer alot in unhappy marriages, so if you do love your children raise them in an environment of love and affection.

This is just my opinion.

Just remember, no matter what you are going through in life be strong and stand up for yourself. And, most importantly, never lose faith.


7 comments

  1. I agree!! An adulterer (man or woman) is to be stoned to death and do not have pity on them for Allah is THE Most Merciful. If He has given this punishment then who are we to have pity? isnt Allah's mercy more than anybody??
    Also, if a woman keeps silence then she is only encouraging this act. But if the husband truly repents and doesn't repeat it again (which is a rare case) then situations would be quite different. May Allah protect us all and grant us all righteous pious spouses! Ameen. :D

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  2. Maybe if you "ladies" would loosen up in bed and give your man what he needs, he wouldn't be shopping around trying to get sex. Face it ladies your man is a dog. Work on being seductive instead of spending you time trying to look beautiful. What a man wants and needs is sex and food. Learn those and maybe your man will stay home with you!

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    2. Stop being such a racist. Such an ignorant and patronizing comment.

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  3. It depends on what is included in cheating. In our conservative society I would consider going out with other women, laughing and joking around with them with the intention of being close to them akin to cheating. Some people would only consider it cheating is sex is involved. My abusive husband dated several women while he was in the United States while I was in my home country. He claims that nothing physical was involved but I am deeply hurt at the idea that he could find peace in talking to other women while he beat me up when he came on vacations. I was pregnant when he hit me and dropped me off at my mother's in the middle of the night. Today he wants to reconcile and my family wants the same, but I am so unhappy and confused. I have nowhere to go but back to him as my family tells me that a woman's place is in her husband's home. I only have Allah to understand my pain. I feel the world has abandoned me and every night I cry myself to sleep hoping to never wake up the next day.

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    1. Sister, I cannot say that I understand your pain because I can't. I know how much problems with the spouse affects a person. I just want to tell you that, don't feel like you've to go back to an abusive relationship. We do not need a man to survive.You do not have to go back to him. Take up a job and become independent. Tell your parents you would gladly stay with a man who would treat you kindly, not this violent man. There are a lot of men out there who swoon over other women but treat their wives like shit. And, there are also many kind and gentle men out there. Don't lose hope. Keep faith in Allah. Don't oppress yourself by going back to him. There is always a way out. Pray and actively work to change your situation. You can do it!

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  4. I caught my husband last year, he had affair with his co worker for ten years.i intervene and after long struggle and my family involvement he stopped his affair.( he claim this). he apologised and ask not to go for separation or divorce. I made a condition that I can forgive him if he resign from this job but 18 months have passed but he did not resigned, his reason is cannot find a good job. I am a working woman and we can survive without his job for short time.but he is refusing to resign and my in-laws are forcing me to stay together and be quiet and let him keep his job.They are blaming me that my separation will effect my children .
    I feel like a doormat ,unwanted and a weak person with no self respect. After all what he did, I am still stuck with him and what did he loose ? he enjoyed his life by cheating on me and still goes to same work place where he gets to see that lady. I am very hurt and restless. what to do?

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