Big Don'ts & Little Do's For Wives + What Muslim Men Hate In Their Wives

This entire post is based on my understanding and experience. No offence meant to anyone.

 These are some qualities that according to 'common sense', Muslim men hate in their wives.


A man wants his wife to be pure, lovable, and innocent not evil and cunning. Nobody likes evil and cunning. So, please don't show or even harbor negative emotions, like jealousy or hate. Be a lover, a care-giver, a nurturer, a provider. Impart positive energy. 

Unattractive and repulsive appearance- 

Alot of women don't give a shit about how they look at home, but as soon as they have to go out, they dress up, they apply makeup and perfume themselves. What kind of logic is this FOR a Muslim woman? She is supposed to look appealing to her husband not every other man EXCEPT her husband. He is your partner, he is the love of your life. Dress up for him. Be feminine and alluring to him. 

Throw away the rags you wear at home, and dress pleasantly. Stop smelling like whatever you've been cooking, smell amazing. Look like a princess and he will treat you like one, believe me. Make him feel he married a beautiful woman.You have to maintain yourself!! No excuses, no reasons are acceptable. 


I know that sometimes in a bad mood, we tend to complain. But, making this a habit and being ungrateful about every single thing is not good. Men want to feel appreciated. If he tries to do things for you, thank him instead of pointing out what he's doing wrong. If you don't like something, or you want something, convey it in a sweet manner. Believe me, he will WANT to do it for you. Also, remember that Allah (S.W.A) hates ungrateful people. Be grateful for whatever it is you have instead of whining about things you don't.

Despise/hatred towards his family-

Understand that long before you, he had his family. His parents and siblings mean alot to him. They are a big part of his life and so are you. Do not try to compare yourself with his mother, ever. Understand that a mother and a wife hold very different positions in a man's life. A Muslim wife should always remember this 'the wife's ticket to Jannah is her husband, but her husband's Jannah lies at the feet of his mother.'

Tension between a man's wife and his family really disturbs and stresses him out. There is a delicate balance, so try to maintain a good relationship with his family from the beginning. Have a clean heart, and if there is something you don't like communicate directly with the family member, instead of going and telling your husband.


If you need something done. Grab his attention, and say it ONCE. Say it clearly, say it needs to be done now. You will just be losing your value if you say the same thing a 100 times, nobody likes to be nagged. You are his wife not his mother. So, don't start nagging. Tell him you are not going to say it again. Depending on the urgency he will do whatever you've asked him to do.

Constant bickering-  

Please, don't do this. Be like a tree who gives cool shade to a traveler on a hot day. If you constantly bicker with him, he will WANT to avoid you. He will NOT want to come home. Be the cool shade for your husband when he comes to you after a long day. Make him smile, make him laugh. He should love your company. Don't bicker him with problems and complains. Relieve him of his stress. If he is worried help him however you can to relieve his worry. Comfort him and restore his hope and faith. Be his best friend, be his play mate, be his everything. 

Disrespect, disobedience and disloyalty- 

All of these are a big no-no. Have genuine respect for your husband. Having mutual respect in a relationship is very very important. Don't do something you know he wouldn't like. Respect his wishes. Treat him like he is your king, and he will treat you the same. Be obedient to him. Do as he says, as long as it is not something haram.

Hmm, disloyalty...many married women rather openly flirt with men, which is beyond disgusting. I mean, dogs are more loyal, I've nothing to say on that.

Unhappy and moody-

We are humans, we tend to get sad and mad and moody. It's part of life. But, being unhappy and moody all-the-time is a major major turn-off for everyone around you. If your feeling down, and unhappy over something legitimate, convey your problem and he will understand. But, if you are 'always' moody, and unhappy there is a problem.

Be happy! Smile. Laugh. Be fun to be around. Joke, make him laugh, be spontaneous, be surprising and adventurous. Life is too short to be whining and sulking over things. He will run away from you, if you are very moody and hard to be with. Be easy-going. Let go of things. A genuine smile is the most beautiful thing. 

So, that is all I can think of right now. Leave me a comment if you think I missed out something. ;)

I hope this post is helpful. Do you like to read these kind of posts? It will only take a minute, leave me a comment and let me know. :)

Also, also, if you find my blog helpful, please be kind enough to share it on your Facebook, twitter or blogger. I need to expand my readership, so help a friend out will ya?

Thankyou for reading!!
Takecare, bye-bye.


  1. first of all jazakallah khair for such a beautiful post n yes we wud luv to read such posts....many newly married girls haf problem in adjustin wid their hubby's it would be great if u post on these topics :) :) :) ..... Aishamajid :)

  2. very nice Mashallah.. enjoyed reading it!! keeping posting :)

  3. same applies fr men too!

  4. good one ..thanx for the reminder ..will share it

  5. Hey you forgot the parts where you should also be serving him and obeying his orders. Its the most important Islamic duty if a wife. All these points are relevant and good. But without 2 things, complete obedience and sexual gratification when he demands, these points are not helpful. Thanks for these though sister.

    1. actually obeying his orders are not a duty, personally i would never obey ORDERS. that makes it seam like the wives are maids or lesser than the husband which we are not ! especially in islam. second, what on earth ?!?!" sexual gratification" ?!!? are you out of your mind ?

  6. What if he verbally abuses you to a point where u loose all your self confidence and not just that but what if he tals bad about your parents as well when they've always been so nice to him. What do u do when he always puts you down and treats you like trash?

  7. I've always kept him as my first priority, did everything i can to keep him happy but he's always so mean to me, what do i do? I wasn't raised to be oppressed. I'am an American born and raised muslim bought up with good values and i'm trying so hard to make everything work. I need help badly.

    1. If he is mistreating you in any way, that is NOT okay. It sounds like you are trying, but he is not. I can hear your desperation and hope to make it better, And I hope it does. I advise asking him directly why he treats you that way and what is wrong. Try getting to the root of the problem. Marriage has its ups and downs. But it takes both husband and wife working together to make a happy marriage. I wish you the best of luck.

  8. It was a little harsh...comparing women to dogs and all. But I really enjoyed the msg u were trying to convey. It was also a very good reminder :)
    but women should know that they should be good as long as there is no abuse, I think it would have been good if u said that in the beginning so that is crystal clear. Abuse, any form of it, is totally unacceptable and in Islam one should defend her or his dignity and she or he should not allow others to humiliate her or him . Dignity is a gift from Allah <3

    your sister in faith

  9. Its easier said than done .I have no family support and toddlers who are not yet in school ,cooking and cleaning all day ,plus dressing up nice is hard as when have to removed make up and do wudu (unless you can keep wudu for hours .the only time I can dress up is late at night when kids in bed and all my jobs done and prayers done by then its late and my husband sleeps ,also I don't have the money to buy beautiful stuff :-(

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