Disputes Between Mothers- And- Daughters- In- Law And How To Deal With Them Part 1

Needless to say I am sure you all know this is a common phenomenon. While this may not be true in all cases, it is very prevalent and there are hardly any brides spared this route. So if you want to learn the Islamic way of dealing with such disputes, keep reading.

Disputes between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law not only affect them both, but also the entire family. I feel that the the husband is the prime victim here as he is caught in a impossible situation. On one side, he has his wife, his long-life companion. On the other side he has his mother, his ticket to Jannah.

Image from http://muslimmatters.org.

Upsetting his wife will ruin his relationship with her for the rest of his life. And if he chooses to side with his wife and upset his mother, he will be ruining his relationship with his mother. The poor guy is stuck in a bad bad situation.

A woman wants her husband to instantly become her slave and fulfill all her wishes disregarding what her mother-in-law or anyone else thinks. This kind of selfish and naive behavior will destroy harmony inside the home. Living in such a home becomes unbearable for everyone.

 To save yourself and your man from such a situation, you should understand few things first.

How The Daughter-In-Law Should Think

  • While you maybe his wife, his paradise lies beneath the feet of his mother. Your ticket to Jannah is your HUSBAND, and his ticket to Jannah is his MOTHER. You will be saved alot of trouble if you just remember this first and foremost.
  • DO NOT try to compete with your mother-in-law. DO NOT challenge her authority in the house. Keep in mind that your mother-in-law has always been the queen of her home and she expects everyone young and old in the house to respect her authority.
  • Being polite and respecting the rules of the house is the right thing to do. Behaving in a selfish and intolerant way will only create more issues. Respect and be kind towards your mother-in-law.
  • There are women who instigate their husbands against their parents.The man consequently becomes antagonistic towards his parents and sympathetic towards his wife. Needless to say this is the most evil act and committed by women with ugly hearts. (Witches, I like to call them)
  •  A daughter-in-law should try to treat her mother-in-law like her own mother. Easier said than done. But, all you have to do is treat her with respect and consult with her. Have genuine concern for her health and well-being.
  • Ofcourse, there maybe several causes for dispute varying from situation to situation. Islam has answers to all problems so when you get stuck, educate yourself and see what your Deen has to say about it. 

If a husband becomes blind by his love for his wife and behaves disrespectfully towards his mother, how will he ever enter Jannah? Now this being the cause of his entry into Jahannam, how will his wife stay alone in Jannah? Therefore, it is the duty of every wife who genuinely loves her husband, she should remember that his behavior with his mother is what will decide his Jannah or Jahannam.

A woman will be doing a great service to her husband if she cares for his mother. Most importantly Allah Ta'ala hates people who break family relations! Remember that and always do your best to encourage good and happy relations amongst the family.

Islam has empowered women. So I cannot stress enough on this!!! Educate yourself on your rights, as well as your duties. Having knowledge of your Deen will empower you to take the right decisions.

Keeping these small but essential points in your mind you will be able to resolve and eradicate all problems. Insha'Allah

In my next post we will discuss How The Mother-In-Law Should Think.

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